How to Start Living on Fire

I interviewed over 70 women from all walks of life and at various life stages to understand what limits us and, more importantly, what we can do to free ourselves from those constraints. The goal is to feel more comfortable and empowered to pursue our own deep-seated desires, to live a life that feels authentic and fulfilling, rather than one dictated solely by external expectations or perceived duties.

It's easy to mistake our obligations for our desires. Society is structured to make us productive citizens, and there's a reason for that. Imagine what would happen if everyone truly asked themselves what they wanted—governments might topple, family systems could falter, and institutions might crumble. We often don't "live on fire" not because we're weak, but because we're wise; we recognize the potential obstacles and blowback that can come from living audaciously.

In this societal framework, we can start to misinterpret certain concepts as our ultimate desires. For instance, the idea of purpose—this notion that we're put on earth with one profound purpose that will define our entire existence. We spend so much time and money trying to figure out "Who am I?" and "What is my purpose?" instead of asking, "What brings me fulfillment?" 

What I discovered, particularly in my forties, is that "living on fire" isn't about one grand purpose or constant busyness. It's about recognizing that life is a series of fires we ignite. Living on fire is a metaphor for a continuous practice: a discipline of asking ourselves two crucial questions: "What is limiting me?" and "What is calling me?" 

Then, it's about actively working to make space for addressing both. When we view our lives as a series of fires, each with its own spark and flame, the concept becomes more pragmatic and digestible, especially for those juggling families, careers, and the general overwhelm of modern life. 

I don't want anyone to reach the end of their life feeling like they didn't truly burn.